Why does your child want to jump and dance instead of sleeping at the evening?
You put your child to bed. You turn on the night light. You stroke their back or read a bedtime story… but instead of getting sleepier, they seem to get an energy boost and now they want to play?
This is a common problem for many parents! Moreover, in such a situation, many parents become irritated, and as a result, instead of a pleasant evening, there can be shouting, anger outbursts, and tears (both from the child and the parent).
So, what can you do when you want to do the right thing and calmly put your child to sleep, as advised in many wise guides, but instead of sleeping, they want to jump and dance?
It is worth understanding where this behavior comes from, as this can help you find appropriate solutions. There are usually three reasons that may occur individually or all together.
Firstly: Your child loves and adores you!
You may think that this has nothing to do with the situation, but you are wrong. Your child loves and adores you so much that they are able to suppress their fatigue, the need for rest, and drowsiness, just to play with you for longer!
Playing is the language of love and connection for children. A child who invites you to play is saying they want to be with you. This can be particularly evident when you have had little time together during the day. Also, keep in mind that the time when you are cooking or cleaning is not playtime with your child. In the evening, when you put your child to bed or sit next to them, your attention is entirely focused on the child. And they feel it. They feel important, unique, and loved – so they invite you to play.
This does not mean that you should play airplane or jump on the bed with your child in the evening. However, it suggests that you should take care of at least 30 minutes of such time during the day when the child has your full and undivided attention.
Then, when your child wants to play again in the evening, you can confidently say: “Sweetie, we’re going to sleep now – we’re cuddling, dreaming together, and relaxing. Tomorrow we’ll jump around together again.”
Secondly: Your child is overstimulated.
In today’s world, it is easy for a toddler to become overstimulated. Many adults feel overly stimulated by ubiquitous noise, lights, and rush… and this applies to children too.
However, children will not say, “Mom, I’m sorry, there was so much going on today that I feel a lot of tension in my body and anxiety in my stomach.”
The child will say, “Play with me!” or simply start jumping to release the excessive stimulation.
In addition to obviously reducing the amount of stimuli, one way to deal with this is to introduce sensory play and teach mindfulness and relaxation from an early age. “Dreamweaves” can be helpful in this regard as they contain deep relaxation techniques that can be used both before sleep and during the day.
Pro tip: overstimulating a child can also be the result of general fatigue! If the bedtime is too late or the child is sleeping too little during the day, this could be the reason for the overexcitement.
Thirdly: Your Child is in the Here and Now.
This means that they don’t yet understand the abstract concept of time and may find it difficult to see the cause-and-effect relationship between events that are far apart in time (for example, that me going to bed at 10pm is the reason why I’m tired in the morning).
Playing is the main activity for children. Therefore, a child who is in the “here and now” often wants to play.
In this situation, it can be helpful to make children aware of certain cause-and-effect relationships throughout the day, for example, that not eating breakfast makes them hungry, or that sleeping too little makes them tired. At the same time, it’s worth remembering that understanding these connections depends on the development of the child’s brain, rather than their willingness or desire.
If your child wants to play and it’s a result of them being in the here and now, it’s worth suggesting imaginative games. “Dreamwaves” can be particularly helpful, especially recordings of audiobooks where the child is instructed to follow along in their imagination. When a parent suggests that they will also participate and follow the instructions in the recording, the child will be more willing to try the activity.
In addition to these three reasons, there may be other factors that make it difficult for your child to fall asleep, such as too much screen time or not enough physical activity during the day. So, in addition to these tips, make sure you’re also taking care of your own and your child’s sleep hygiene and relaxation levels
Pin it for later!
